A Beautiful World

We three brothers were very close with each other. We always wrestle around, play karate, taunt each other with some funny pet names and, this may sound awkward, play with our pees; he who made the longest or highest reach, he's the declared winner. We would even play "spray peeing" while carelessly running outside the house as if we had small water cannons inside our little shorts spraying them like wild water guns. Our ages were seven, five, and four back then. Typical brothers, who always like to play and fool around. Such a vivid scene when I reminisce the days.

Time had passed and still, we three boys are very close. My eldest brother has his own job already. My little brother also had a job; however, he wanted to be a pilot so he planned on taking the exams both the written and interview. Of us three, my little brother has the brain. He's intelligent; he's kind and very understanding. He passed the written examination with flying colors! To our dismay he failed the medical examination. He told us that he had sore throat during the medical examination. I remember one time he had these bouts of sore throats before. The doctor who checked him then suggested removing the tonsils because of the persistent infection. His blood pressure was way too high also and he was diagnosed with hypertension. He confided also that not long ago he noticed a dark tea-colored urine passing while he was peeing.

Months gone by and my brother's health was fast deteriorating. Very often, my mother would observed that as if somebody had urinated in his room because it smelled like someone had peed. My little brother had difficulty sleeping already specially at night time and his usual flow of urine seemed dwindling away. This was the dreaded moment, my brother was diagnosed with chronic renal disease and we can't do anything about it.

He underwent dialysis for about a year and during that excruciating time we held him as if he's not alone in this fight. He was given a new lease in life a year after, when he got his new kidney. I remember, I was alone waiting in the recovery area thinking, praying that by God let it be as if we're just playing our pees again like when we were kids...just the slightest urine to come out please...not the highest, not the longest ... just the smallest...please...please...alas! He urinated. We were so very happy! So happy that we changed his original birthday to the date he had his transplant kidney!

We counted his birthdays, first year - too many medications were given to him, we saw to it that he'll take it on time. Complications from the medications started to manifest but thanked God we controlled it early. He's very organized. He arranged his medicines and put it in a green bread box. He cut strips of cardboard and made it as dividers. He also labelled his medicines. So organized that even the nurses are amazed on how orderly the medications were done; such a very strong-willed personality. His fiance was with us also all throughout and this boosted my brother's confidence.

Second year - my little brother was, as if, back to normal again. He already had a new job! And he was very good at it. I remember, he always had these certificates posted on the walls of our house, hanged by my mom, stating that he was a nominee for employee of the year! That's how good he was with his work. Come third year, fourth year and fifth year still, he was always nominated to be the top employee of the year.

Sixth year - My mom excitedly informed me and my eldest brother that he won the EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR award and the prize will be a trip to Hongkong Disneyland and some cash. We were so happy! Our happiness was short-lived however. His condition started to deteriorate. Month of May, the new kidney started malfunctioning. We were hospital-bound again with my little brother, but this time a much larger problem unravelled. Too much fluid had already entered his heart, as well, as in his lungs; also his brain was affected already, yet he was oriented to time, places and people.

At this depressing times, he kept on telling me, too much time and money had been spent for him already; what about me and his kuya? "It's unfair!" he quipped. I responded, "Do not be worry, as long as you are with us, never mind the material things". Her fiance was very supportive and always with him all the time.

I came to realized that my youngest brother and her fiance had been preparing for their big wedding ahead of time. And all were set already. The place was reserved already, the dresses, the bride's maid etc...

I think, my brother's will to live is not about to overcome the disease itself, or about us, or about his life anymore. It's about the big wedding really...

Sadly, he never went to claim the plaque for the BEST EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR nor went to Hongkong Disneyland. He never recovered...then on late November, same year, the Barong that he bought for the wedding? He used it in his funeral...

It was a whirlwind ordeal for us. Up to the last day he never gave up. My parents took care of him until the final days of his life along with his fiance. Can you imagine, he recovered in the ICU multiple times and was even brought to our house? He was frail already and yet can talk with sense, still thinking of other's welfare and his family; very inspiring . Unfortunately, yes, he was very sick already. He died while he was undergoing dialysis, the first time he had the dialysis outside of the hospital.

My "little brother" was 32 years old. If only I could plush out those toxic waters in his body so as not to intoxicate his body anymore... If only we could be the same old happy boys again just busy playing, wrestling, and doing things as carefree as if there were no problems in this world. When I close my eyes each day and remember all the childhood games that we three brothers enjoyed playing together, I tell myself every time, indeed I'm very lucky we relished each other's company especially our youngest brother. Even up to the last breath of my life I will treasure it forever...

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